Behind the Smile

Truthfully I’m just a really fucked up person I’m sorry I can’t instantaneously change my feelings toward someone that I’m not only attracted to but feel emotionally connected to because I care so much about them and want to be there with them 24/7 no matter what 
So for that I’m sorry I’m such a clingy person. I’m sorry that when I fall for someone I fall hard. I’m sorry people see me as being young and stupid. I’m sorry that I won’t go away and move on.
That bothers me so much when someone tells me to move on or let it go. They don’t know how I feel not one single bit. 
I would be the girlfriend that rubs your back when you can’t sleep, watches you play video games and never be bored, cook because I want to and watch tv instead of going out and partying. As long as it’s spent with you
I fell for your personality first because you actually care about people. I then realized that although no one else can fully see it I found my soulmate. I always say this times different but this time I KNOW it is I FEEL it. 
So maybe I do need to grow up and not be childish and self centered but just know I would in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with you. I would sacrifice some of my rebel years to settle with you it would be far more meaningful
So see that smile in that really cliche white girl work selfie? That’s the girl who pretends she’s absolutely fine when in fact she’s broken from crying herself to sleep, tossing and turning because the guy she’s madly unconditionally in love with keeps pushing her farther away and pretends nothing happened yea I guess I followed your example but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and hell I’d rather live single then be with anyone other then him 



The Real Feelings

Thinking of him

It gives you those feelings
The sole thing on your mind 
In a long class
A long work shift
When your all alone
It sends shivers down your spine
Pure ecstasy in your heart
A smile that lasts for hours
The best dream you’ll have
No one knows how you feel 
No one believes you love him
They think your crazy to hope you have a chance 
It doesn’t matter nothing else does 
Except one day the the thought of freedom, happiness and being loved by another human being  

Diamond Devotion

The pain doesn’t really sink in
It doesn’t really seem realistic
The worst feeling you’ll ever feel
Seeing the one person your in love with
In love with someone else
Until you see it with your own eyes
Them together holding hands
Hanging out
The way he smiles
His laugh
His commitment
I guess I’ll never be that lucky
Never be the one
The only one he loves


The Value Of Love

Sometimes the person who’s the happiest, loudest and wears the biggest smile

The person who lives everyday to the fullest and has the most distinguishable laugh

The person who’s not afraid to take risks and has a determination like no other

The sweetest, kindest person that has a caring heart of gold

You would never know that person looks in the mirror and hates what they see

That they think they have no value in society because their not beautiful like every other girl

You’d never know how much she wants to be accepted and loved by an amazing guy who just loves her just as much as she loves him


Prized Possession

They say I’m not in love
That I only have a hopeless crush
But I only want to be with him
Is that asking much

I know I not skinny and hot
Nor athletic, popular or smart
What I have to offer isn’t a lot
It’s only each and every part of my heart

I’d do anything to be with him
I’d give everything I’ve got
He means the whole world to me
Every single thought

He knows I like him
But only what I reveal
I long to tell him more
What inside I truly feel

It’s fear that holds me back
From telling him my feelings are deep
She’s the luckiest person on earth
Cause he is hers to keep


Summer Lovin

There’s nothing like believing
When you can’t avoid feeling
Like he is the most beautiful human being

You notice the smallest little things
His ocean blue eyes that sparkle in the sun
The way his eyebrows move in together as he laughs
The way he smiles when he’s happy and having fun

Then he asks if you have feelings for his best friend
You respond well he has a girlfriend so I don’t have a chance
The way you always have to hide the emotions behind the texts you send
The same is true for him because he’s taken
He tells you sometimes being friends is better
The smile you give is fake
Because inside you face only heartbreak

You just wanna walk up to her and say
I just want you to know
Appreciate him every day
Don’t ever let him go
Because he’s what I imagine only
What perfection on earth is like
Because when I’m sad and lonely
When I realize I’m not good enough
My chance doesn’t exist
Well you girl are nothing short of lucky
Fortunate enough to experience his love
You are his angel from above
If only it was me
I only have one wish
Treasure every moment
Make memories to cherish
Because I would give anything to be you
That would be a dream come true


Love Dreams

There’s truly nothing like dreaming
It’s hard to control the feeling
When you just feel the surreal connection
Between two human beings

The way he runs his fingers through his sandy blonde hair
The smooth deep pitched voice that makes me melt
His joyous chuckling laugh
The sincere bubbly smile
His bold character with his effortless flirty ways

But what is it that makes me think about him, love him, crave him
It’s hard to hide my lustful envy
When the clouds float by
When the stars glimmer in the moonlight
When his beautiful singing voice wins my heart over