Behind the Smile

Truthfully I’m just a really fucked up person I’m sorry I can’t instantaneously change my feelings toward someone that I’m not only attracted to but feel emotionally connected to because I care so much about them and want to be there with them 24/7 no matter what 
So for that I’m sorry I’m such a clingy person. I’m sorry that when I fall for someone I fall hard. I’m sorry people see me as being young and stupid. I’m sorry that I won’t go away and move on.
That bothers me so much when someone tells me to move on or let it go. They don’t know how I feel not one single bit. 
I would be the girlfriend that rubs your back when you can’t sleep, watches you play video games and never be bored, cook because I want to and watch tv instead of going out and partying. As long as it’s spent with you
I fell for your personality first because you actually care about people. I then realized that although no one else can fully see it I found my soulmate. I always say this times different but this time I KNOW it is I FEEL it. 
So maybe I do need to grow up and not be childish and self centered but just know I would in a heartbeat if it meant I could be with you. I would sacrifice some of my rebel years to settle with you it would be far more meaningful
So see that smile in that really cliche white girl work selfie? That’s the girl who pretends she’s absolutely fine when in fact she’s broken from crying herself to sleep, tossing and turning because the guy she’s madly unconditionally in love with keeps pushing her farther away and pretends nothing happened yea I guess I followed your example but it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done and hell I’d rather live single then be with anyone other then him 

 

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